Acceptance
by TheNexusDragon
Summary: She wanted to be accepted for what she was but will they be able to accept eachother. Warnings: M rating for a reason


She wanted to be accepted for what she was but will they be able to accept eachother.

Dragon Age belongs to Bioware.

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><p>Bethany frowned as the Templars escorted her to the mages quarters in the Gallows. She walked with her head held high; knowing it was her choice to contact the Knight Captain while her sister was in the deep roads. She just wished that they had acted sooner to prevent the drama that had occurred when the older Hawke sister arrived home.<p>

This was her decision and possibly the first and only choice she made during her entire life. Her mother and sister may not understand but she felt like she needed to be here with other mages even if that meant being with Templars too. She had needed to be true to herself and stop hiding what she was.

As they entered the fortress that housed the mages, she felt the weight of her choice upon her shoulders. Even though it was early in the day, she felt as though it was the longest day of her life. She had been to the Gallows before whith her sister, but this time she would not be leaving.

Bethany hadn't realized she had paused in the doorway until she felt a gauntleted hand rest gently on her shoulder. She let out the breath she was holding and looked over her shoulder. She was surprised to see that Knight-Captain Cullen was the only one of her escorts still by her side. She swallows hard when her eyes met his and she saw for the first time that the Templar had kind eyes. Slowly she took a step in to what would now be her room.

The mage turned and bowed slightly before softly saying a thank you to the Knight-Captain. When she heard the click of the door as he left, she sat down on the bed and the tears that had threatened her while they traveled spilt down her cheek. As she cried herself to sleep, she tried to remember that this was what she wanted.

In the morning, she got up and began to check out her room. It was larger than the room she had shared with her mother and sister. The bed was larger too and as she moved stretching her arms, she noticed that she didnt have stiff muscles as she normally did when waking up. Maybe there were some extra benefits to living in the Gallows.

She went to the wardrobe and opening it found there were several sets of mage robes in the closet. Selecting a deep blue robe, she quickly changed from her old clothes. This was the first time in her life she wore actual mage's robes. They were comfortable loose and flowing. Again, she realized how good it felt not to hide.

Once she was dressed, she went to the vanity on the other side of the room. Pulling open drawers, she found that the Circle had provided her with everything she would need. She took the brush from the drawer and ran it through her hair. When she was done, she smiled at her reflection. It didn't reach her eyes but she could work on that.

The Circle didn't seem too bad but it was still early in the day. Her father and Anders had made it seem like it was better to die than go to the Circle, but now she would find out for herself. She would just have to follow the rules and make sure they didn't make her tranquil.

A soft wrap at the door interrupted her thoughts. Moving quickly she went and opened the door. She was surprised when her dark eyes met the soft golden ones of the Knight-Captain.

Bowing her head she said, "Good morning, Knight-Captain." She wasn't certain what was the proper greeting for the templar, but she wanted to show some sign of respect since there was no reason to start off on the wrong foot her first day in the Circle.

"Good morning, Bethany," Cullen said with a smile. "Please call me Cullen. There are times I'm still not used to the title and formality."

Bethany stared at him wide eyed. She was shocked at how friendly the Templar was being with her. Again, everything she heard from other mages about templars seemed to be very exagerated. She would certainly have to see about it for herself.

When she didn't respond Cullen continued, "If you are ready I can show you around."

The dark haired mage nodded slowly, her curls bobbing around her face, and walked forward as Cullen guided her. She blushed softly when the gauntleted hand touched the small of her back. She knew the Templar meant nothing by it except to lead her but something within her stirred from the warmth of the man beside her.

Bethany was quiet as they walked through the corridors. Cullen pointed out important rooms to her but she was only half-paying attention. She tried to take in as many details about the man. She noticed the way he didn't wear a helm like most of the Templers. His armor gleamed catching the light as he moved. It looked well polished and taken care of. She couldn't help but imagine the muscles that his armor hid from view.

In the garden courtyard, she froze in place, her mind returning to her surroundings as she stared at the flowers. The red roses reminded her so much of the bushes at the Lothering Chantry. A wave of homesickness hit her but she tried to push it back and returned her attention to Cullen. The Templar was watching her and waiting. She realized she had missed a question from the man.

She bit her lip turned around slowly to face Cullen. She knew that she was a mage and acting odd in front of a Templar. Swallowing hard she looked up and with a sad smile she said, "I'm sorry, what."

"It's alright. I just asked, where in Fereldan you came from?" He asked looking worried.

"Lothering," she sighed. "At least most recently we were from Lothering. We always had to run when someone figured out my father or I was a mage."

"That interesting," his smile increased reaching his eyes that twinkled in the sun light. "I'm from Lothering as well. That is be-before…" he paused for a moment, "I went to the Chantry and was trained to be a Templar."

Bethany returned his smile. She noticed his stutter but thought better than asking what he was holding back. Instead she returned the focus back to her when she responded, "The roses here reminded me of the bushes around the Chantry back in Lothering. We never got too close to the Chantry for obvious reasons but I still miss those flowers."

"I think I remember those flowers. In the spring the Chantry smelled of the roses inside and out," Cullen smiled and she noticed his eyes were distant in memory. Whatever memory took him made him frown sadly.

"I'm sorry," she said softly breaking him out of the memory that was upsetting the Templar.

"It's alright," he spoke with just a bit of harshness to his voice. "It just has been some time since I've thought about Fereldan."

"There are times I miss it, too," she said absent-mindedly. "But I'll be glad to stop running and hiding. I'll be glad that my family doesn't have to turn their lives upside down just to protect me."

"The Circle doesn't have to be a bad place," he replied slowly coming back from his past. "You may be surprised to know that I was running when I came here too."

"Oh!" she exclaimed, "Was it because of the Blight?"

Cullen raised an eyebrow at her question, "No and yes. You had probably already come to Kirkwall when the incident with the mages happened at the Tower. The Hero of Fereldan returned to the tower because of the Blight but she had to clear demons and blood mages out of the Tower," he spat out the words with a hatred that surprised her. "She saved my life but…but I couldn't stay." He turned away from the mage. His shoulders slumped with the weight of past events.

Bethany reached out a hand lightly setting it on his armored shoulder. "I never met Solona, but my mother said she was our cousin."

At her comment, his head snapped up to look at her over his shoulder, "You're an Amell?" He smiled a weak, sad smile and shook his head. His next comment was so quiet she almost did not catch it, "Should have known, you look like her."

He sighed straightening up becoming cold and distant, "If there is anything you need, please let me know." He ushered her down the hall and guided them down to the practice room where the other mages greeted her.

Each day became easier as Bethany fell into the routine of the Circle. She excelled at the classes. She was able to use some of her experiences of running and hiding to help some of the younger mages accept their fate of being at the Circle. After a few months, they even allowed her to teach some of the younger mages.

At least once a week she would see Cullen; whether it was while he was on duty or at meal times or sometimes they would even find themselves in the garden alone. They would talk about anything and everything. She never pried into the events of his past that had hurt him so much that first time they spoke. Even then, she was astounded at how easy it was to speak with the Templar. They would talk about Fereldan, the Circle, training of both mages and Templars, and one day they even got on the topic of the Chantry.

Bethany told him that she had never had the opportunity to attend services. He understood why she hadn't but felt that everyone deserved to hear the Makers words. One day he came to her door knocking much like that first morning. He told her he had a surprise. He guided her through the city to the Chantry and they sat together during the sermon.

The first time Cullen had brought her to the Chantry she felt so awkward and out of place. However, he had felt it would be good for her to experience what most people thought of as normal but was a special outing for the mage. The adventure to the Chantry began to be a regular event for the pair when both their schedules aligned.

It was one of these rare days, where she didn't have classes and he was off duty, that the pair found themselves strolling through Kirkwall. He still wore his Templar armor and she in her mage's robes. The day was bright as the shadows slid away in the rising sun.

Cullen and Bethany walked up the steps to the Chantry. She had her hand on his arm as he guided her around Krikwall. She was still surprised at how that the Knight-Captain treated her. He had turned out to be a kind and fair man. Even though he took his duty about guarding mages seriously, he still had compassion in his heart.

As they walked through Hightown, he made a joke about some of the nobles and she laughed lightly. They walked up the stairs in front of the Chantry. The design of the Chantry still impressed her and she peered up into the sky where the steeples reached toward the clouds. He was always a gentleman and held the door open for her. They went up the stairs to find a seat on a pew before the sermon began.

As the sermon came to a close, they recited the Chant of Light. She had learned the words quickly and even though Andraste had strong opinions regarding mages, she still valued the words.

Once most had cleared out the Templar and mage got up and went down to the first floor. Her hand was on his arm again and they were laughing when she heard a familiar voice. Looking over her shoulder, she saw the familiar pale face and white hair of her sister. Her sister was speaking emphatically with the Grand Cleric and the Prince of Starkhaven.

Bethany smiled and snorted softly her sister was always so passionate about the issues. Her attention came back to the Templar at her side. She knew he was watching her, but she couldn't keep the sad look from clouding her face.

Cullen nodded to her and then nodded over his shoulder to the mage's sister. "Go say hello."

Her mouth hung open in shock, "But-"

"It's alright," he said quietly smiling softly at her. "I'll wait here."

Bethany hurried toward the stairs, but when she neared them, she slowed and looked back at the Templar. He smiled and nodded again as he leaned back casually against the wall. She returned the smile and went up the stairs.

The mage stopped with her head bowed while she waited for the Grand Cleric to finish speaking. Once done her sister turned and shrieked when she saw her sister standing there. Rushing over the small rogue wrapped her arms around her younger sister.

"Oh, Bethany, how are you?" the older Hawke sister exclaimed.

Bethany smiled so hard her cheeks ached. She hadn't realized how much she missed her sister but it was so good to see that she was all right. "I'm well, my dear sister," she laughed. "I hear you have done well for yourself since coming back from the deep roads."

Hawke nodded, "Yes but it's not been the same." The older sister looked around and saw the Templar waiting for the mage. "So being a Hawke has gotten you the privilege of having the Knight-Captain as your watch dog."

"It's not like that," Bethany said rolling her eyes at her sister.

Winking Hawke said quietly, "Sure, I don't doubt that." Then becoming serious, her sister looked up into her dark eyes, holding her arms the concern easily showing on the older sister's face. "Bethany, I received your letter. Are you really okay being at the Circle?"

"Of course I am," Bethany sighed. "I know you are worried about me but you don't need to. It's nice to be around other mages. I've learned a lot from the others. It really is good to not have to run and hide all the time." She saw her sister frown and realized what it must have sounded like to her. "I'm grateful for everything that you and father did to keep me out of the Circle. I'm also sorry that our family always had to run because of my abilities."

"You know we didn't mind, Bethany. We did it because we love you."

"I know and I love you too, sister," she sighed and looked back at the Templar. She knew she would have to go soon. "I never knew that I was missing anything by being outside of the Circle. Now that I've been there I realize that I missed being accepted for what I am." She hugged her sister again, "I love you and everything you did for me. Don't worry about me, sister. I am in good hands. I should be going though." She gave a reassuring smile and turned from her sister. "Tell mother I send my love." Walking back to where Cullen was standing she smiled again thinking about going back home. It was surprising how quickly she had come to think about the Circle as home.

As she neared Cullen, he held out his arm for her. She took it again letting him guide her back through the city. Her heart was lighter after talking with her sister and the pair joked easily as they walked. His golden eyes were bright and magnificent in the afternoon sun. He tossed his head back and gave a deep laugh at something she said. The words were unimportant but she could feel her heart squeezing and warming just by being near him. She had never felt like this. Her feelings surprised her because he was a Templar.

He walked her to her door as he always did. He was smiling and said good-bye softly. In the empty hallway, she decided to act on her feelings. She leaned forward rocking up on to her toes and pressed her lips to his. Time seemed to freeze and it was a few heartbeats before she stepped back.

Cullen's mouth hung slightly open in shock and he didn't speak. She lowered her eyes from him trying to avoid seeing the disappointment or disgust that she figured would be on his face. She began regretting her rash decision to kiss the man. She hoped that she hadn't just destroyed the friendship she cherished.

Keeping her eyes down turned, Bethany said, "Thank you for the wonderful day." Reaching behind her, she pushed the door open. She took a slow step backing into the room. She had her hand on the door to close it before she looked up. When she did, she was amazed to see Cullen slightly smiling at her.

He cleared his throat and stammered, "I-I'll se-see you a-around." Then he turned to head down the hall.

When he was out of sight, Bethany closed the door and leaned on it. A giant smile broke out on her face and she laughed. That was one incredible first kiss. She pressed her fingers to her lips remembering that feel. She lied down on her bed closing her eyes and reliving that moment in her memory.

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><p>A few hours had past and it was early in the evening. The time had gone by quickly while Cullen was pacing in his quarters. After he returned to his room, he changed out of his armor and was in his linen slacks and jerkin. He tried to think but his mind kept circling back around to Bethany. Once again, he was having feelings for an Amell. It had been so easy and he hardly realized that the feelings were there. Now he was in so deep that he wasn't certain if he could surface without the mage.<p>

He knew that the Circle in Kirkwall was far different from the tower in Fereldan. The Templars here didn't take vows of celibacy. Most spent their free time at the Rose, even Meredith was known to go there to "relieve some stress ". As far as he knew, he might be the only one not "relieving stress". Meredith had once commented on it since she felt that occasional sex made for better warriors, but she had let him be when he said he had sworn himself to the Maker.

He was so confused part of him wanted to have relations with Bethany. They were already close friends but earlier she had kissed him. Subconsciously his hands went to his lips at the thought of the kiss. With that one kiss, his beliefs shattered. He never thought he would fall in love, let alone with a mage. However, when she kissed him he felt a stirring deep within his soul.

He could either deny his feelings or accept that he was in love with the beautiful mage. He needed to see her again. Maybe when he saw her he would be able to decide what to do.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was walking down the corridor that led to the mage's rooms. He took a deep breath before he raised his fist to wrap at her door. When there was no response, he leaned close to the door and said her name. He didn't want to be too loud as to attract unwanted attention. Still there was no answer.

Frowning he turned away; he wasn't certain if she was ignoring him or just not there. All he could think was he had done something wrong earlier or worse than that had someone seen them. She would be the one in more trouble if someone caught them.

Within the mage halls, they could travel without guard. If she wasn't in her room then he had one idea where she might be. He went down the hall to the gardens and there she was her back to him.

He watched her for a moment. She mesmerized him. Her hair was longer now than when he brought her to the Circle, it cascaded down her back in loose curls. She was beautiful. She had a slender waist but not so skinny as to be unhealthy and her robes showed her curves off nicely.

After gawking for a while, he had to blink and realized he had begun to breathe harder. His stomach was flipping over and his body began to stir. He flushed just by seeing her. Gathering himself as much as he could, he took a couple of steps into the garden.

Bethany heard the ground crunch under his boots as he came near, she turned to face him. She lifted her head up looking up at him through long lashes. She smiled at him biting her lower lip slightly. He couldn't imagine anyone more amazing than the woman in front of him.

Cullen smiled at her, taking the steps to close the distance. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her close. Lowering his head, he brushed his lips across hers gently. Without thinking, their kiss intensified as their lips crashed together. He kissed first her top lip and then the bottom one sucking on it slightly. He knew he had no experience at romance but his instincts were guiding him quite well.

Bethany whimpered softly when he pulled back to catch his breath. She bit her lip again and took a step toward the door. Holding her hand out to him, she said quietly, "Come. Please." She looked at him expectantly.

He took a couple of deep breaths and pulled his eyebrows together as he warred with his desires - the desire to stay true to his vows and the desire to be with the incredible woman before him. Slowly making the life changing decision, he nodded and reached his hand out to take her smooth fingers.

The pair made their way down the hall back towards her room. Cullen thanked the Maker that no others saw them walking hand in hand down the hall. When they reached her room, she pulled him in and placed a ward on the door to give them a warning if anyone were to come to the door.

Bethany turned back to him and he found that he was nervous. He didn't know what to do and so stood there cemented to the spot in front of her.

He swallowed hard and opened his mouth but nothing came out so he closed it again. Taking a deep breath, he tried to form any kind of rational thought. "I've never…" he finally croaked out.

She smiled at him. "I know," she whispered stepping closer to him. "I've never… also."

Hearing her words snapped him back from the panic that had taken over. He was surprised that she hadn't had previous relations, since any man would be lucky to have her. He had renewed confidence by the fact that she chose him. He would just focus on her and he knew he could do that.

Taking a step forward toward her, he raised a hand to her cheek caressing her smooth skin before kissing her again. Slowly she reached up, loosened the laces on his shirt, and breaking the kiss lifted it over his head. She put a hand on his chest and the warmth seeped into him like bolts of energy. He knew she wasn't using magic but the feel of her touch on his skin was more intense than words could describe.

His hands felt like lead weights but he brought them up and began clumsily unfastening the clasps of her robe. His eyes glossed over as he took in the skin that was exposed. Once the belts and clasps were open, the robe fell away with a shrug of her shoulders. She had worn nothing under her robes as if expecting or more likely hoping for the events of this evening, and the templar gasped when he saw her bared body in front of him.

He loved her and her body. He ran his hands over her curves, gently caressing her breasts that filled his hands. He lowered his head kissing down her neck to the pert nipple on one breast. Kissing and suckling it before moving to give equal treatment to the other.

While leaning down he gently tucked an arm under her knees and across her back lifting her easily. He took her to the bed; lying her down kissing her deeply. He let their tongues meander and taste until breath made him pull back. He stepped back and loosed the ties of his pants and kicking them away. Then he paused for only a moment as he became self-conscious about his appearance before removing his smallclothes too.

Her eyes had watched him move and he saw her tongue dart out to lick her lips when she saw him. They were both inexperienced but desire and need would be enough to lead them through this dance of love.

He climbed up on the bed holding his body above her on his well-toned arms and leaned down to kiss her once again. Her tongue brushed against his lips and he parted them to allow her access. Her tongue explored tentatively. After a few moments, though he pulled back and kissed the sensitive skin by her earlobe causing her to shiver. He whispered, "I love you, Bethany." A small moan seeped from her lips at the words. Invigorated his hands caressed her skin and he followed his hands with a trail of kisses down her body. He stopped at her breasts to lavish them with his tongue before sliding down farther between her legs.

Her scent was incredible and he felt light headed as he breathed her in. He looked up from the gorgeous treasure before him for just a moment and his eyes locked with hers as she watched him. His tongue brushed against her soft folds as he watched her. Her eyes closed, her head falling back as another moan filled the silence. Encouraged by her response he repeated the action pressing harder with his tongue. He was surprised to find her fluids were like a spiced wine and he was grateful to drink from her. He lapped at the sensitive bud causing her to gasp with each touch.

Ever so gently and slowly, he pressed a finger into her opening while continuing to lavish her tender flesh with his tongue. He slid his finger in and out her moans showing what she enjoyed.

She was panting and shaking a glistening layer of sweat covered her body. He was fascinated by the way, her body moved. He increased the speed with his tongue and finger. Her body arched off the bed and her head thrown back in a silent scream. He slowed his touch but did not stop until her body eased back toward the bed. He pulled his finger out and with one last lick across her opening moved up her body.

He leaned down to kiss her then stopped. He wasn't certain if she would kiss him since he still tasted of her fluids. He was surprised when she met him with her lips kissing him and her hand behind his neck pulled him down to her. She passionately delved her tongue into his mouth sharing the taste of sex in the moment.

He reached down and rubbed himself against her folds, the movement mixing her fluids and his saliva to slick down his head. He lined himself up and gently added pressure. He slid in until he reached some resistance.

He looked down into her dark chocolate eyes looking for approval before continuing. She nodded and whispered, "Please, Cullen."

He pressed harder into her feeling her barrier give way to him. He froze when he saw that she had her eyes pinched closed and was biting her lip harshly.

"Are you alright," he whispered concerned that he had hurt her.

"Hold still," she panted, "I just need a moment."

He held himself there grateful for the strength that all his training had given him. Her moist flesh gripped his manhood and his body urged him to move but still he held. The warmth fogging his mind and at the same time he was becoming aware of every part of the wonderful woman under him.

"Please," Bethany nodded as she wrapped her legs around his waist, "move, please."

Cullen began slowly rocking his hips, gliding in and out of her warmth. He groaned softly gasping for air. They moved together in a matching rhythm. As their speed increased, he let one of his hands rest on her breast pinching and rubbing her nipple. His other arm reached around her shoulders holding her close. Her moans were increasing in volume and he crushed his lips to her to silence her before she woke anyone.

Her body shook and her muscles tightened around him intensely as she arched her back. His body tensed drawing taunt like a bowstring. With one last thrust into her tightness, his world shattered around him. He continued to shutter as she milked him through the aftershocks of bliss.

With one last thought before falling asleep, he removed himself from the warm beauty falling on to the bed. He pulled her close and she sleepily wrapped her body around him.

A few hours later, it was dark when Cullen awoke wrapped behind the woman he loved. Quietly he disentangled himself from her sleeping form. He slowly pulled on his pants not taking his eyes off the dark hair that half hid the beautiful curves of her face.

As he reached for his shirt, her sleep heavy voice reached his ears, "I know you have to go, but I wish you didn't."

He stepped over to her and kissed her on the forehead. He sighed happily, "I know, me too; however we both know what would happen if anyone found out about us." He knelt down next to the bed. He placed a kiss near her ear and whispered, "I love you. I would never do anything to endanger you, more than we already have. I could never stand the thought of losing you."

She reached up and caressed his cheek whispering softly, "I love you, too, my sweet."

Getting up he tossed his shirt on and left quietly closing the door behind him. Once back in his room he leaned against the door. He smiled happily at the memory of him and Bethany in the throes of passion. Falling forward onto the bed, he fell asleep as he was.

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><p>Their encounters continued sporadically when they could find time to spend together. They would continue to go to the Chantry and when they had free time, they would go to the gardens to talk. They would both listen for any rumors about them and take a break from seeing each other until the rumors would die down.<p>

As the conflicts between the Templars and mages heated up, they began to feel trapped in a world that would kill them if they found out about their relationship. It put an extra strain on the pair but at the same time, it brought them closer together as they had each other to talk about the issues at hand.


End file.
